My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I deserve this hangover.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize