he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
