I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize