she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
