We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
