The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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