i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there's paper in my vomit.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize