I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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