go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
