take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize