No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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