i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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