my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
