he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
