I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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