Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
