I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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