I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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