No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
