They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
