i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Green mimosas i think yes
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think your dad took our porno
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
