smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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