Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
