Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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