Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize