So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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