i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
