Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
