Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's never too late to be topless.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
