Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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