I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
