No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
