i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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