She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
