fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there's paper in my vomit.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
