He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
