I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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