She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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