Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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