Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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