You smell like a Billy Joel song
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
