I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
