Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
