Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
