you guys were way drunker than both of me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
