Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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