So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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