My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize