well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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