You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
