Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
