if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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