Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
