i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
