My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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