come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
