Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
