i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the gays at disneyland are vicious
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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