is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize